Chapter 5: Requiem for a dream. Part I

He paced in the room softly, cigarette in one hand and his phone on the other, Richard dialed as he smoked a bit of his cigarette, He then sat on a nearby chair, listening to the ringing tone on the other end of his call as he smoked some more of his cigarette.

He waited and waited and no one picked up his call, he sighed in frustration and dialed again. No one answered, no one would.

-“I find myself doing this out of habit Setsuna…” he said softly as a tear slid down his face. “Maybe I just can’t really believe you are gone…” he said as he closed his phone.

It was the year 20-06, 3rd year after the battle with Demian du Lancret and the Kobayashi Team still mourned their lost ones, they still cried and remembered how they touched their lives, they still remembered how they died.

Richard mourned the loss of Setsuna, his friend and aid, his love and fantasy, Richard was mourning for his heart and peace of mind.

Witold walked slowly toward Richard, Richard looked up and put away his phone, and smiled sadly.

-“Evening Witek, are Nessa and Yevgeny ok?” Richard asked as Witold came closer to him and sat on a chair by his side.

-“Yevgeny is alright, I have healed his wounds fully, Alex and Joe did a good job patching him up. Nessa’s wounds were more deep, but I healed them… it will take her a bit to walk without pain though…” he sighed and passed a hand through his hair as he usually did when he was worried or nervous.

-“You can tell me what is wrong…if you don’t tell me I will find it out on Intel sooner or later” Richard said taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.

-“It wasn’t a mere battle…they were in for the kill, he wanted them both dead…”

-“The spellhowlers are not safe anymore…” Richard said smoking a bit of his cigarette.

-“That is what I’m afraid of, up to what point Nessa and Yevegny can hold on to these random battles? “

-“Joe and Alex can take care of Yevgeny without any problems, what I’m worried about is Nessa, she won’t like a “bodyguard” she will put up a fight.”

-“I’ll be Nessa’s guard…” Witold said softly but determined.

Richard chuckled a little, and sighed nostalgically.

-“Like old times?” Richard said smoking a bit of his cigarette.

-“As it should be (he looked away) as it always should have been…”

-“You had to leave, stop punishing yourself for stuff you can’t control mate…she doesn’t hate you for it, in fact she never hated you, I think she was just…sad I think…” he said putting away his cigarette.

-“I know, but I left her without notice, I should have said goodbye…I just left and… everything that she went through on her own…She mourned Charles Daniel and Setsuna…I just added more to that…”

-“We all still mourn them Witold…it is all part of the process of moving forward I believe…although some of us chose not to…”

-“You still call her?” he said looking at him puzzled.

-“I always will, same time everyday…same time everyday mate”

-“Don’t you wish sometimes to turn back time? I know I’m being naive for thinking about those kinds of things…but I can’t help but wonder sometimes…” Witold whispered.

-“Sometimes…and if I could, I would tell Setsuna how I felt, how I feel...everyday. Life is short Witek, we all are in borrowed bodies, borrowed time, borrowed space in this world…we must not hold anything back, we must do and say what we feel in order to be free of guilt when the time comes…for us and the people we care about…we are what we say and do…at least most of the time.”

-“It is said that death is not the end…that is a new beginning of life…a new step…do you feel that way? (Witold asked softly) maybe that thought keeps me sane and full of hope, so I can help Nessa…”

-“No, I don’t, it has been 3 years that Setsuna died, and I don’t feel like this is a new step in life…I feel my life ending little by little, that I’m being consumed by my memories and feelings that I don’t have a real reason to live except keeping you guys here alive (he smiled sadly toward Witold) when Setsuna died, I died along with her…but I have a job to do here and while I’m needed and able, I’ll do it.” He said putting his cigarette away and looking up to the ceiling.

-“But…Richard…you just can’t keep going on like this…(passes a hand through his head) What would I know?…I live in guilt…”

-“The usual speech about being young and that I should be moving on?” he said looking for another cigarette while giving a soft chuckle.

-“I suppose it is in order…considering…”

-“No speeches can change my mind…(he said quickly, interrupting Witold) I wanted to live my life with Setsuna, that was gonna be the rest of my life…I have nothing left Witek, so please don’t talk to me about how life is going on…I have received counseling…and yes…you shouldn’t talk much about the subject…you live in guilt and remorse for leaving Nessa, yet you just came back and I don’t see a single act of moving on from your part…how long is it gonna take for you to act?”

-“Richard…don’t…”

-“Until another near death experience? How long do you think will be before Nessa fights again? And giving her current condition, do you think she will last enough for you to say you love her?” Richard said smoking a bit of his cigarette, looking at the sky, with a serious tone of his voice.

-“You have to stop feeling guilty about Charles Daniel and just grab her and kiss her, protect her not because you are her friend but because you love her beyond this world…do it because you want to and feel it, not because you feel guilty she got attacked and you weren’t there…”

-“Back in those days she would have accepted me maybe...but will she accept me now?”

-“She never turned you down as far as I'm concerned mate…you just never went for it, you never tried…”